


Invisible Strings

by gracster22



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Background Riarkle, Background Rucas, COLLEGE JOSHAYA, F/M, Lots of Joshaya angst, Rated M just in case, completely legal, pretty mature plot, slow-burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-05-04 04:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5320223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracster22/pseuds/gracster22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't do that. Don't just disappear like that on me."<br/>"If you're lucky, you're never going to see me again." </p><p>COLLEGE JOSHAYA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Hearts | Functioning Bodies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all. I decided to write a GMW fanfic. This is an idea I've had for a while. Not 100% set on shipping Joshaya at the moment, for sure. But I love the character's chemistry. So here's a little angst for you all.

The first time he showed up at her door was a rainy February evening.

She was vehemently tracing what she hoped would be her ‘saving-grace’ assignment of her first college year. The knock at the door startled her, her 4B pencil tumbling from her grip and falling to the floor.

“Jesus,” she mumbled.

She didn’t have a clue as to who would be hankering around her doorstep at 11 o’clock at night, so she approached the door with a hesitant slowness.

Her roommate and best friend Riley was spending the night with her boyfriend, so Maya was digging deep through her acquaintance list. She opened the door with a reluctant creak.

No, she definitely hadn’t thought of this name.

“Josh,” she said breathily, pulling the door open wider.

Alas, there stood Joshua Matthews, motorcycle helmet in hand and leather jacket clad back. His hair glistened with raindrops, but his eyes glistened with something else.

She saw the brunette open his mouth to speak, but she hastily cut him off.

“Riley’s not here at the moment.”

Josh shut his mouth, but opened it again quickly. “I’m not here to see Riley.”

Maya’s eyes widened as she avoided the gaze of his deep blue ones.

“Uh, um-okay,” the blonde stumbled; stepping aside so Josh could enter the apartment. “What’s up?” she queried as the man removed his wet jacket, hanging it on rack beside the door.

As he turned around to face her, something in his mannerisms took her aback. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she felt her breath hitch slightly. _‘Stop being ridiculous Maya, he hasn’t even said anything.’_

But God, that’s what happened when you loved someone, right? Despite the numerous short-term relationships and countless hook-ups she’d experienced over the last few years, Joshua Matthews still had this alluring power over her. A power that could reduce her to a bumbling mess whenever he even looked at her. 

And he had looked at her a lot over the years. From the humble days of ‘You grew up gorgeous’ to her Senior prom of ‘You are gorgeous’ and eventually her high school graduation of ‘Can I kiss you, gorgeous?’ The two had shared some special moments over the years, however one-sided they were. They talked and joked like old friends but that’s all they were ever going to be.

The last time she had spoken to Josh was two weeks ago at NYU. They both attended and it was business as usual, consisting of ‘How’s college?’ and ‘What class do you have now?’

Sometimes he would visit for coffee. With Riley of course. And maybe their eyes met for a little too long. And maybe his hands lingered around her waist in that goodbye hug, but that was all wishful thinking, right?

But this, this was out of the blue. She could see in his deep eyes that he was looking for something tonight, and she subconsciously laid her hands on her stomach as if it would stop the nervous churning it was engaged in.

“Maya,” he mumbled.

It was sweet but full of desire. The blonde didn’t pick up on it until he had paced over to her, cupping her cheeks in his hands. His touch sent a jolt through her body. Her breath hitched once again, and she didn’t have time catch it before his lips met her own. Maya’s eyes stayed rigidly open in intense shock before they eventually fluttered closed. Before she even had time to apprehend the situation, Josh had pulled away, but his hands lingered on her cheeks.

“I need you,” he whispered.

Maya’s mouth lay slightly agape at the statement. Her lips tingled in the shadow of his touch but her heart ached. This wasn’t a confession. No, this wasn’t some declaration of years of pent-up feelings. This was the cry of a broken young man, wanting to be satisfied, and probably avoiding his real issues. This wasn’t love, or even _like_ , this was a deal. A contract. One that Maya, although in pain, would be willing to sign. She had long given up hope of being Joshua Matthews’ number 1, so she had learned to take what she was given. And take she did.

Still, no words escaped her mouth. So she allowed her head to nod slightly before she gingerly took one of his hands in her own and pulled him towards her bedroom. She stole shy glances at the boy she loved as she gently tugged him along. He never broke his solemn expression as he shut the door behind them, hoisting her close as soon as it clicked. He stared at her intently as his hands met her waist.

She wanted to scream. She wanted her usual fiery self to rage at him for thinking he had a right to her body. But she wanted one thing more than that. And that thing was Joshua Matthews. And if she couldn’t have his heart, this was the second best option. There were zero strings attached, and zero walls to be broken down. Hope was for suckers.

She confirmed her thoughts the next morning when she woke up alone. The bed felt eerily cold in contrast to its occupation of two passionate bodies the previous evening. But as the blonde straggled out of bed, she told herself to forget everything. Forget his heavy breathing, forget the way he breathed her name, forget the way she felt alive at his touch.

Because nothing about it was special. All that was left was his scent in her bed and a small shred of paper on the kitchen bench with ‘ _Thank You’_ scrawled in Josh’s handwriting.


	2. Guilty Hearts | Unrelenting Bodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well yes, I am back! And I will be frequently updating this work. I had awful writers block but I am determined, with the joy of new spoilers, to keep this work up. Feel free to comment your feels.
> 
> P.S. This is just a filler chapter! It does get more dramatic! I promise. 
> 
> Much love,  
> H xx

_Late March_

\---------------

The next time they spoke wasn't until late into the next month. The blonde sat with a coffee in hand as she watched the first blooms of Spring breathe into life. Central Park was buzzing with its usual electricity, yet Maya hid behind a pair of dark shades as she considered new ideas for upcoming assignments. 

The buzzing of the park soon gave way to the buzzing of her phone as the minutes clicked onwards. Maya reluctantly reached into her pocket for the object, expecting it to be Riley begging for her to bring some ice-cream home. The name that greeted her instead sent a familiar chill through her body. And she still couldn't decipher whether it was a good or bad thing. 

She considered letting it ring for as long as possible in a bid not to seem hasty, but Maya soon berated herself for being so petty and let her finger slide across the answer bar. 

"Josh," she breathed. It came out sounding more of a strangled question than she would've liked, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind as the man's voice filled the other end. 

"Hey," Josh breathed, "How are you?" 

The question sounded funny to Maya, and left a strange bitterness in the air around her. It was a simple one, but she somehow felt the question didn't fit in with their relationship anymore, so she let a scoff tumble from her mouth. 

"Alright, enough of that," she wondered if her sarcasm might drip through the phone. "When do you want me?" 

"Christ, Maya," Josh bit back. 

"What?" She told herself she was only teasing at this point, but the word felt like like it scathed when exiting her mouth. 

There was an exasperated laugh on the other end. Then a few moments of silence before Josh spoke again. 

"Can you come round tonight?" his voice was soft, timid even. 

Maya chewed the inside of her cheek, a nervous habit she'd developed. She debated whether to poke more fun at the situation, but something told her that it would only make the reality of their relationship sadder. 

"And what do I tell your niece?" Maya could swear she felt him wince through the phone. 

There was a long silence. Maya felt muscles contract that she didn't even know were tensed when Josh finally spoke again. 

"Nothing," he breathed, "You tell Riley nothing." 

Maya nodded in response, her stomach churning in a tumult of guilt. 

"Maya?" 

The blonde realised she had yet to respond verbally to the man. 

"Yes. She won't know," she reassured. 

"Good."

"I'll see you tonight then," Maya decided to round up their conversation.

"Yes. Tonight." 

"Oh, and your roommate?" She knew she had forgotten something. 

"Out of town." 

"Great," She continued the curtness of the conversation. Whatever agreement this was, had clearly destroyed their ability of usual friendly banter. 

"Great," Josh echoed, "See you tonight gorgeous." 

The only reply was the sound of the girl hanging up her phone. 

\---------------

When Maya finally pulled some casual-enough looking clothes on over some semi-nice lingerie, it was approaching 10 o'clock that evening. She came up with a convincing enough excuse for Riley in telling her that she was on her way to complete some evening sketches. Not soon after she slinked out the apartment door when Riley wasn't looking so the brunette wouldn't ask her why she wasn't taking her sketch pad. 

The short walk to the boarding dorms of NYU students felt like an eternity as Maya's stomach began its usual churn. The self-berating soon followed as she began the familiar though pattern of _'Why are you doing this?'_ and ' _You're a strong woman.'_  

But the phrases were powerless to the magnetic pull that Joshua Matthews' had over her, and when her knuckles wrapped on his door at quarter to 11 that evening, she found her body all too ready to be embraced by him again. And when he opened the creaky door with that wicked half-smirk, she found herself almost lunging at the man in question. 

"Woah woah woah," Josh exclaimed, taken aback at Maya's wild embrace. 

Her arms lingered around the young man's neck and she kicked the door shut with the heel of her boot. 

"What?" she queried, cocking her head to the side. "Not so keen anymore, Matthews?" 

Josh smiled sheepishly at her jest, and Maya found her own features lighting up at his expression. It was almost as if she had just momentarily seen through to the dopey, boyish Josh she had fallen in love with. She smacked the last thought away quickly. 

"No, very keen." He smirked again. "But you didn't even say hello." 

Maya let a small smile creep onto her face with the confusion that followed. How, even when he was striking up a relationship purely based on _sex_ , could Josh still manage to act so impertinently like a _Matthews_?

"What?" Josh grinned, breaking Maya's thoughts. 

"I-I just," Maya stammered. Josh ushered her on with his eyes. "Are we talking now?" she finished simply. 

Josh scoffed incredulously as he broke apart from Maya's petite frame. 

" _Maya_ ," he said is a disbelieving tone as he sat on the side of his bed. "We're still _friends_. We can _talk_. I'm not a monster." 

The blonde crossed her arms and moved two paces closer to the man, confusion being replaced with relief. "Okay, so we're still friends," she mumbled. She saw Josh nod his head in response. "And sometimes..." she trailed off, talking two more steps toward him. 

"Sometimes..." he mirrored Maya's phrase. 

"And sometimes..." the blonde repeated, sitting herself down next to Josh as he turned to face her, "...friends do this." 

The small blonde moved a hand to rest on Josh's cheek as she pressed her lips to his own. The fire that burnt in her stomach every time he touched her had returned in full force as she pulled herself closer to his body. 

When they finally broke for air, Maya had a hand in Josh's hair and another with a fistful of his shirt. 

"But we're still friends?" she panted, releasing her grip on the man's shirt. 

"Absolutely," Josh assured, the disbelief that she had ever thought otherwise returning to his features. 

"Good," she laughed, "Because that phone conversation was so awkward." 

"Oh thank God you thought so too," Josh laughed as Maya moved to pull herself into his lap. 

 

She smiled as she reconnected their lips. Because maybe, just maybe, she could pretend this was exactly how she wanted it. 

 


End file.
